Letting Go for the Sake of Balance

I realized I was so focused on trying to find a way to work from home that I wasn't actually focusing on what matters most when I'm at home.
I realized I was so focused on trying to find a way to work from home that I wasn’t actually focusing on what matters most when I’m at home. My family.

Something happened last summer. I was suddenly in turbo drive. After nearly a year and a half of being in total mommy mode, all my other curiosities flooded back. I wanted to do EVERYTHING. Teach, write, start a business, work for my husband, take care of my family…

I felt like supermom. I could do it all. And, I did, for about six months and then it became too much. I found myself less present with my family. I wasn’t exercising as much as I needed. I couldn’t keep up around the house. I forgot what it felt like to sit on the couch. Still, I couldn’t decide what to let go. I liked it ALL so how could I make a choice?

Thankfully, I had this nagging feeling time would tell. Oh, patience, a lesson I must need again and again. And, just like that, a new (part-time!) teaching opportunity I’ve been lusting after presented itself. Suddenly everything else made sense. Teaching, writing, family were non-negotiable.

It all feels a little obvious as I write this now. After all, I taught and wrote before my daughter was born, but I had been so focused on keeping myself at home as much as possible that I’d lost track of why I wanted to be home in the first place, to be with my family. By letting go and being out of the house a bit more, I’m actually able to be more present in all aspects of my life.

Even so, I had fun experimenting with my previously dormant entrepreneurial spirit. I learned a lot. Especially about margins and what my time is worth. I let myself be a hummingbird and I have renewed faith it will prove useful somewhere down the road.

For now, Wandertots is mostly on hold. At first I thought it would require a lot of humility to share this but instead it feels empowering. We should have the right to experiment and put ourselves out there without worrying about how it makes us look. I have no trouble taking ownership over the fact that I have a lot of interests and love learning through experimentation.

I’m still fulfilling orders and have oddly become the queen of selling kid’s headphones, so if you want any busy items, get in touch. I’ll give you a good discount for being a loyal reader. That’s the irony. Wandertots received a ton of interest and still receives regular orders, it’s just not the best home-based model, or at least not the way I’m doing it.

Whew.

Sharing all that feels like the load is getting lighter and I can focus again. If you’ve been in my shoes of doing more than you can handle, I wish you the patience and awareness to let what matters most float to the top. It’s not easy letting anything go, but the last few weeks have felt so much better for me. I’m even writing again, something that had fallen to the bottom because it seemed the least profitable. But I guess that’s just it. You never know, you just have to keep working at what calls you, even when sometimes you’re called multiple places at once.

7 thoughts on “Letting Go for the Sake of Balance

  1. “By letting go and being out of the house a bit more, Iā€™m actually able to be more present in all aspects of my life.”

    Yes, and I think you know this already, but I’m a firm believer that you need to take care of yourself to be the best person in all aspects of your life. It’s a struggle though when there are soooo many things you want to experience. I’m glad you continue to experiment and re-evaluate. Never stop doing that. šŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks as always for the encouragement. It’s just so interesting to me how sometimes our efforts to preserve something important actually do exactly the opposite. I’m grateful for the realization that being gone a little more keeps me present at home in a much more meaningful way.

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      1. This may not be exactly what you’re describing, but I went to see The Lady in the Van yesterday. It’s a movie based loosely on the memoir of Alan Bennett, who appears to be an English playwright and actor. So, the movie portrays him as two different people. There is the Alan who sits at his desk and observes and writes and there is the Alan who lives. And each Alan is skeptical of the other. I thought it was a great depiction of how creative people feel. And how I think it applies to you and to me is that we have to satisfy that other version of us to be able to live the best we can.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so proud of you, Liv! It takes a lot of courage to try new things and another kind of courage to let them go when it no longer feels right. It’s the hummingbird lifestyle. ā¤

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