Instead of keeping a regular baby book for the girls, I’ve started compiling my written memories for them, including these posts. I’m catching up today on both three months and three years.
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Three Months
Oh, little Miriam. The more I get to know you, the more I discover your joy. You laugh and smile with such ease. You love watching your sister play with toys. You’re happiest facing out to the world. You move your body to show us how eager you are to jump off our laps and run around.
The mom guilt has been more real this time. With your sister, I only had to focus on her. Now I have you both and feel bad I don’t spend more time just sitting and holding you. But you don’t seem to mind. You love your swing and activity mat. You’re happy cuddled up against me while we sleep.
At first I tried to fight you into your own space at night, but I’ve decided to embrace the closeness because we often don’t get that same time when the sun is out. Still, I try my best to give you little moments throughout the day. Maybe that’s why you wake up at 5AM, so we get to be alone together. Thank goodness you seem so content. Getting to know you is a gift.
Three months, already.
One of the best afternoons of my life was also one of the simplest. A few weeks before M arrived, E and I went to the park with Grandma. It was an unusually warm January day and while Grandma basked in the sun, E and I went looking for worms in the swollen creek.
We’d just finished one of the biggest rain storms in recent memory and everything was alive and flowing. Instead of worrying about what needed to happen next, I allowed time to stretch endlessly before us. We turned over every rock we could find, we poked our sticks into the creek bed, and we laughed. She held my hand and I did my best to squat with my pregnant belly beside her, again and again.
After months of working five days a week, this was exactly the afternoon I needed. Weekends while working were filled with to-do’s and I’d missed those days where we just spent time together, exploring and seeing the world through new eyes. As we drove home from the park, I cried bittersweet tears because I knew it was the last time we’d have those moments alone, before her sister arrived. Sure, we’d still have our solo dates, but life would never be exactly the same as it was in that moment, just the two of us.
Three years old has been a flurry of moments, some incredibly intense, others undeniably sweet. From being told “You’re the greatest, greatest mommy!” to what seems like mere minutes later receiving angry commands to go my room, I can attest the term “threenager” isn’t entirely in jest. Still, my love for her only grows as she’s better able to articulate her thoughts and I get to know her even better each day.
Happy belated third birthday, E.
Leap of Mama 
As always, a joy to experience these moments through your words, all the while treasuring your beautiful writing style!
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You put how I feel in print. I am so proud of both my granddaughters. E for the most part has been very tolerant an understanding in the fact she must share my time with her an M. I only get told so often put her in the swing. Iol So in love with both our girls.
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You are such a gifted writer.
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Have I ever told you about the “journal” of interesting things my kids said way back when. I kept it at work. Why? I don’t know. It just seemed to be a good way to do it. When I was at work, away from my two little rugrats, I could recall the thing from the day before. I would type it into the document and relive it. It kept me connected, I guess, when I was not with them.
The thing is that one day my hard drive crashed and I lost the document. I pretty much gave up on the idea of recording all of those cute things they said, and the amazing experiences I had with them. I wish I hadn’t. You will, one day, look back and read this stuff that you write now and marvel at the things you have forgotten. These words will take you back and you will be able to feel the moment, smell it, hear it, taste it. All of it will come back. You should never stop writing these pieces and putting them in a place that will be there forever.
And sharing them with those of us who didn’t do the same thing. 😉 As I’ve said over and over and over again. You do several things with your posts about being a mom and about your children. You show the love and wonder and incredible beauty of the thing. And you take me back to those moments with my own. Thank you for sharing these with us.
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I would be so disappointed to lose that document! I’m glad these stories take you back and I’m always grateful for the encouragement!
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